This Is Who I Am, Not Who I Want To Be.

by Horses and Bayonets

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(the) New Noise Thriller This is my brother's band! Please check them out a they are really rad!! Favorite track: Cold Nights / Bright Lights.
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about

This album is about the human condition, loneliness, heartbreak, depression, and addiction. ALSO THERE'S A SONG THAT'S SORT OF ABOUT ARCHIE SO THERE'S THAT.

credits

released May 11, 2013

Bryce Lokken: vocals, some programming
Jake Olexyn: guitars, cute boi vocals
Devon Meyer: guitars, 2nd man vocals
Alex Chin: bass
Landon "Cool Guy" Hilde: Drums

Lyrics by Bryce Lokke except for Gunslinger by Landon Hilde

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Horses and Bayonets Prince George, British Columbia

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Track Name: Sing Me To Sleep
This settling has worn me thin.
I know I’m always complaining I’m exhausted, but this is it.
I’d rather be alone than angry, and I’d rather noone was home
than I was unhappy.

Oh impossible siren, would you sing me to sleep?
Would you steady my dreams?
Oh would you watch me breathe?

I’m not sure when we all stopped dreaming,
when we started to believe that winter was our only season.
Did you ever hear what I said?
Or have we lost touch again?
I just want this cycle to end.

I’m not sure when we all stopped dreaming.

Oh impossible siren, would you please save me?
My demons know my name,
and they know where I sleep.
Track Name: Luxxuria
I've been here before.
Tired, alone, in the dark, but my eyes won't close.
Watching shadows build and form across the floor.
You said you'd always come back home.

Excess and abandonment.
I believed in us, and now I regret it.
Luxurious and unempathetic,
she's much emptier than our bed is.

When the lights undim on the dance floor,
you will see.
When you wake up next to a stranger,
you will think of me.

My love blacked out and found the floor.
I don't know her disease, but vodka is the cure.
So brave, go girl, world spinning - tilt a whirl.
She says she knows what's best, so it's late at night
and I'm alone again.

When the lights undim on the dance floor,
you will see.
When you wake up next to a stranger,
you will think of me.

You said you'd always come home, so why am I laying here alone?
Track Name: Gravity
going cold. giving up. her gravity tears down what i built up. I have been orbiting her. my sol is bright but she burns. caught in her rays, where she wills, i will stay. i’m getting so tired of floating alone here in space. my sol is so bright but she burns me with her rays. gravity forces down on my frame, so by becoming small i am strongest of all. one sick man filled with disdain - he’s caught in his sol’s sick game. baby let me go. if i could draw maps made of stars, i could count down my days. she just doesn’t understand her pull alone here in space.
Track Name: Confessions
as a child i dreamed of these perfect days. now, we’re struggling just to stay awake. when the phone rings, who is that on the other end? and can they fix this? my dear, i have a confession to make- i do not believe in love. these are words we use to pacify, and keep each other from running off. i’ve watched my world crash once, and now i’m doing it again. we cling to sinking ships, we cling to our own end. i’m scared of my own bed, the truth is sleeping next to me. and i’m too scared - i’m scared to face it. I try to force this, try to believe it. i let myself think you were the reason.
Track Name: #coolteenclub
hey there hottie, hop into my jalopy. betty is blonde, and veronica’s got that smokin’ body. I know a place where we could go. worries can’t find us here. head on down to the malt shop my dear. pops has got the goods that make the girls go crazy - one girl kisses this cheek, and another girl kisses this cheek. she says she’ll go with me. she’s so pretty and she’s just so sweet. swell on me, she holds my hand real hard, and i hold her heart. mr. lodge, my fucking god- your daughter’s got that smokin’ bod. i treat her like a trophy, put her on my mantle: reggie. I never say please, nor do i say i’m sorry. this town knows me, these bitches owe me.
Track Name: Self: Control
Soft sighs. Two different colors of eyes. In the dark, the sparks ignite, and you are alive. Come to life now. My Queen wears her crown. She is so loud. Come down now. The king wears his crown. He is so proud. You are my pinnacle and everything. I have heard the angels sing. I have made you weak and I would do it again. Where you end is my beginning. I control what you are feeling. I have made you weak and I would do it again. Speak in tongues. Writing poetry in silence. Speak in tongues. We are an island. I’m addicted to violence. She’s come to life now. My queen wears her crown. She is so loud. But her screams are drowned out. Come down now. king wears his crown. He is too strong.He is too proud. I’m afraid that I’ve lost my mind, there’s no life left in your eyes. I’m an addict to the sounds you make when you struggle to breathe, these ropes that make sure you could never get free, wake up please. I fear that I regret nothing and that I would do it again. I should never be left in the dark with a life in my hands. I don’t know my own strength. I would stop if I knew how. she’s not breathing now. she’s not breathing now.
Track Name: Gunslinger
as your will gets weaker, look for a place to rest your weary head. as your end grows nearer,
struggle to catch your breath. a state of constant unrest. the pistol by your side, it weighs so heavy on your soul. steady your hand gunslinger, your words won’t save you now, cautiously dance with the trigger as your enemies watch from the crowd. this whole town knows your name, the past that’s been haunting you. Whole world’s gone up in flames, you’re just a killer with nothing to lose. you always travel alone, you feel the weight of those whose lives you’d take. you’ll never take up a home, you dug this hole yourself, so welcome to hell. so grab your flask, there’s no turning back, the past hung a noose around your neck. so say your last, there’s no turning back.
Track Name: Unmidas
this is why you never let your friends crawl into your bed. I’ll miss you so much when this all ends. everything is perfect inside this room. these sheets and walls take their screams, turn to a breeze. unmidas, the mightiest are my lips. violence that hides under my skin. i take what i need to live. the silence, we’re silent in all of this, naked as the day we entered in, to a world we collapsed with our own sin. I woke up on the surreal side of the bed again - i kind of wish it was you instead. i know what you’re hiding and it’s hard to see. i know that at night you’re still dreaming of me. because everything i touch turns to dust.
Track Name: Cold Nights / Bright Lights
the voice of my reason is rationalizing. when you’re too scared to sleep alone, and too scared to sleep in the dark. cold nights and bright lights and unusual street signs. i’m doing just fine, but where are you? please come home soon. every time i think i see your face, it all comes crashing down. and if i could just know your name, i’d be a better man by now. because when the lights go out, i’ll tell myself anything, I’ll sell myself
anything to rest. so pathetic, writing letters to someone i’ve never met. praying that they show their face and give my soul some rest. my love please forgive me for what it was this sadness made me - when i found myself so lost treading water in the deep end. i was always too wise to jump in, but now water is filling my lungs, but now exhaustion’s setting in.
Track Name: Oh, God
I smell like sex and kerosene. please come, light my life on fire. you all look the same in the dark. i can’t sleep alone even though i’m so tired. i’ve had nightmares for nights now, i reply my all day all night. so i relive my mistakes not once by twice. oh god. from my place at the bottom where i am laid bare, i search for wisdom in these words but the answers just aren’t there. the blood on my hands and tears on my face. dirt under fingernails, as unclean as the rest of my race. but like has broken my back, my soul a desolate place where it is always dusk - and still the light burns my face. i’ve heard no sound in weeks, no love for a wretch like me. if grace is so amazing then why can’t i just see. i want to believe you’re real, but i just can’t understand. so i’m afraid of the dark, and I don’t like who i am. i’ve torn apart your texts, and read everything in red. but as far as i can tell, my god’s still very much dead.

oh, god.